Shampoo Wants What?
by tigerdreams
Summary: Shampoo’s return in series 2 happens somewhat differently, and events conspire to persuade her that Ranma is an unworthy husband. What will she decide to do about it, and how will Ranma react? Also starring Ryoga. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Shampoo Wants _What!_ The Opportunity of a Lifetime

Summary: Shampoo's return in series 2 happens somewhat differently, and events conspire to persuade her that Ranma is an unworthy husband. What will she decide to do about it, and how will Ranma react?

Spoilers: Through series 1 and into series 2 of the anime, or the first couple of issues of the manga. I need to acquire more of both.

Pairings: Light Ranma/Akane, but mostly… should I say or shouldn't I?

Feedback: I crave feedback like Happosai craves panties.

Disclaimer: It should go without saying that I don't own Ranma ½. However, in this litigation-happy age, nothing goes without saying anymore. So consider it said. Not that I wouldn't _like_ to own a few of the characters, but we can't always get what we want, now can we?

Author's Note: Shampoo's unique speech pattern is a result of her imperfect grasp of Japanese. However, her private thoughts occur in Chinese, which she speaks fluently, and therefore do not exhibit her characteristic speech pattern.

Further Author's Note: I'm a Ranma/Akane 'shipper, but that isn't the focus of this story. I've read up through issue 5 of the manga, and seen up through series 2 of the anime. I've been told by friends who've read farther in the manga than I have that later on in the series, a potential love interest for a certain character is introduced. But I haven't read that far, and I don't want to wait that long to write a story. So I have a different idea. Anyway, it amuses me.

Additional Author's Note: According to one of my betas, Ryoga is supposed to have green eyes. I've double-checked my copy of the anime, and I swear they're brown. At this point, his actual eye color is up for debate, and readers may feel free to cast their votes on the subject, but for now I'm letting it stand as brown.

Thanks: Many much thanks to my friend Josey, whom I waylaid into beta'ing for me. I'd also like to thank my friend Mabry, who also beta'ed, and who got me addicted to Ranma in the first place. Without her, this story could not have existed, so if you don't like it, blame her. - (Of course I kid.)

o o o o o

Shampoo sat perched on a chimney-stack across the street from the Tendo dojo. She was, as ever, waiting for Ranma.

Her thoughts flashed back to her last confrontation with Ranma, when he had revealed to her his secret. He had tried to make her believe that he'd been a girl all along, and that boy-type Ranma was only a disguise. At the time, Shampoo had believed him, but now… well, did she not now know of a force that could work such transformations on people?

Of course, her great-grandmother had dragged her back to Japan to retrieve her husband. It wasn't that she didn't _want_ Ranma – he was hers by the law of her people – but it was rather infuriating to have to chase after a fiancé who was so determinedly unwilling. She was a bit insulted, actually. She certainly wasn't unattractive – not if that half-blind idiot Mousse was any indication. So why was Ranma so adamant about rejecting her? It simply wasn't proper, his making her go to such lengths for his sake.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Ranma emerged from the dojo and stalked out into the courtyard. In one hand he carried a small black piglet.

_What does he plan to do with that piglet?_ Shampoo wondered. _It's much too late at night to start cooking dinner._ Curious, she cocked her head to one side and watched. As the animal squirmed and tried to bite Ranma's hand, the young man produced a kettle from behind his back and poured steaming water from it over the angry pig.

Shampoo raised an eyebrow. _Another victim of Jusenkyo?_ She hopped down from the chimney and crept to the edge of the roof for a closer look at what would happen next. As she watched, the writhing piglet transformed into a young man. He was standing with his back to her, but the moonlight glistening off his wet skin revealed the well-honed body of a warrior. Shampoo blinked. As an Amazon warrior, she didn't often have the opportunity to look at naked men, so her basis for comparison was limited. Still, she thought, _He's not bad._

In the courtyard below, the two boys were arguing heatedly. They spoke in hushed tones, so Shampoo couldn't hear their words, but Ranma seemed to be quite angry at the other boy about something. As Shampoo watched, the argument seemed to escalate. Finally Ranma lost his temper.

"If you think you can just come in here and crawl into bed with my– " He stopped short as lights came on in the windows of the Tendo residence in response to his shouting. While Ranma was distracted, the other boy made a dash for the pond in the middle of the courtyard – but was abruptly halted by Ranma's fist as it connected with his face.

The door of the dojo was just opening as Ranma grabbed the other boy by the scruff of the neck and punted him out of the yard. Shampoo looked up as the boy sailed over her head, getting a good look at him from the front. _I've seen him before._ Her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to remember._ Oh yes! He was there when I first met boy-type Ranma in the dojo. He must be a friend of Ranma's._

Shampoo sat on the edge of the roof, deep in thought. She did not even hear Ranma's explanation to the Tendo family about finding some pervert prowling around outside and getting rid of him. After they all had gone back indoors, Shampoo rose and headed for home, leaping from one rooftop to the next.


	2. Chapter 2

Ranma strolled down the street, balancing a brown paper shopping bag on his head. He'd had to stop and pick up some groceries for Kasumi on the way home from school; Akane had begged off, claiming homework as her excuse. So, of course, Ranma had to go running errands alone. _Just as well. That girl can really get on a guy's nerves. You say one word wrong and she goes all violent on you._

As he neared a gate, Ranma paused in mid-step. He jumped onto the top of the chain-link fence across the street. A moment later, an old woman stepped out of the gate and tossed a ladle of water onto the stretch of sidewalk that Ranma had just vacated. He breathed a sigh of relief and took the bag of groceries off his head, carrying it in one arm. He continued toward the Tendo house, balancing easily on the fence.

"I'm home!" Ranma pushed open the door, looking around for the other members of the household. "Kasumi, I picked up the noodles and the fish, but they were out of—" He froze, his eyes focusing on the red umbrella propped against the wall. _Ryoga._

Groceries forgotten in the front hall, Ranma stormed into the main room to find Akane and Ryoga seated at the table. Ryoga was talking, and Akane sat with her cheek resting on one hand, seemingly caught up in what he was saying. A hint of a smile played across her lips. Ranma's fists tightened reflexively.

"Ryoga."

The other boy looked up at him, irritation in his eyes. At the break in conversation, Akane glanced up to notice Ranma's entrance. "Oh, you're back. Kasumi's in the kitchen."

Ranma glared at her. "I thought you had homework?"

She scowled. "I do. Ryoga was just telling me about the time he went to Kyoto, and—"

"Kyoto, huh?" Ranma grinned. "Where were you actually _trying_ to go, Ryoga?"

"That's not the point! I—"

Ranma cut him off with a gesture. "Listen, Ryoga, I've been thinking."

"That's a first," Akane muttered.

"You are _so_ uncute," Ranma informed her before turning his attention back to his rival. "Ya know, Ryoga; it's completely unfair to you that our fight keeps getting interrupted." Ranma strode across the room, closing the distance between himself and the short-haired boy. "You have every right to want to fight me, after all the pain and suffering I've put you through already – _and may still cause you in the future_." Ranma tossed off the threat casually, his voice retaining most of its friendly overtones.

Ryoga's eyes darted briefly in Akane's direction. "You know, Ranma, that's really not necessary right now…"

Ranma's smile was definitely more predatory than personable. "No, I owe you a duel, and I always pay back my debts. Come on, Ryoga; it's time to collect. No interference this time. It'll just be you and me." Ranma leaned in close, lowering his voice so that only the other boy could hear his next words. "_P-chan_." His eyes flicked meaningfully in Akane's direction.

Ryoga's eyes widened, and then narrowed into a scowl. "Alright, Ranma. We'll fight." He rose to his feet, snatched up his umbrella, and stalked out into the courtyard.

Akane watched in irritation as Ranma followed him outside. "Honestly, what do those two think they're doing? Just when it seems like Ryoga was going to let go of their differences, Ranma picks a fight again. Idiot."

"Akane?" Oblivious to her sister's temper, Kasumi emerged from the kitchen. "Did you remember to call the roofer about those loose tiles?"

o o o o o

Poised on the apex of the roof, Shampoo watched the two boys enter the courtyard and square off against each other. She enjoyed watching Ranma fight; the strength and agility that made him a great martial artist affirmed her confidence in him as her husband-to-be.

The boy with the bandana struck a fighting stance, brandishing his umbrella as a weapon. Shampoo tilted her head to one side, curious. _He means to fight with an umbrella? How unusual._ She slid forward, stretching out along the tiles, with one foot hooked over the spine of the roof to keep her steady. She rested her chin in her hands, making herself comfortable to watch as the boys rushed at each other.

o o o o o

Ryoga started out hesitantly; it had been some weeks since he'd last challenged Ranma. Since he'd begun spending time with Akane, his mind had been on things other than fighting.

Ranma allowed himself a cocky half-smile. _Ryoga's training has been slipping. He's leaving himself wide open on the left side. And oh, is that umbrella starting to get a little heavy for him?_ Without even turning to look, Ranma could tell that Akane was watching. _If I beat the stuffing out of Ryoga, Akane will just feel sorry for him. Idiot._ Ranma scowled.

Sensing his opponent's momentary distraction, Ryoga made a lunge with his umbrella. Ranma recovered enough at the last moment to jump back, out of range of the blow. _So instead, I'll humiliate him. Make it obvious that he couldn't land a hit on me if his life depended on it. That'll show Akane._

He leapt at Ryoga, throwing a flurry of feints which his adversary scrambled to parry. As the other boy panted, trying to recover from the effort, Ranma casually reached in and flicked him on the nose. "Come on, Ryoga, tired already? We've only just started."

Ryoga blushed furiously, his eyes darkening with rage. "You will pay for that insult, Ranma Saotome," he snarled, drawing back to throw his umbrella.

o o o o o

"Interesting," Shampoo remarked softly. _Ranma toys with him as though he were no threat at all. It's as if he wants to make this boy look foolish._ Shampoo crawled forward to get a better look at the tableau before her, but as soon as she moved her back foot, the tiles beneath her started to slide. She clawed frantically at the roof for purchase, but the tiles were loose and she could gain no traction. With a little shriek, she tumbled over the edge of the roof – and into the pond in the Tendos' courtyard.

She surfaced a few moments later to see Ranma deftly step out of the path of Ryoga's whirling umbrella. Then he turned to see what had caused the splash.

Ranma's confident smile melted, replaced by an expression of sheer horror. "A c-c-cat!"

The ensuing scream led Nabiki, just arriving home from selling Kuno more photographs of her sister, to conclude that Ranma had been doused with cold water again.

Shampoo clambered out of the pond and shook herself off, then looked up at Ranma to see what he was screaming about. She was just in time to see the umbrella, on its return trip back to Ryoga's hand, come up behind the terror-stricken Ranma and clobber him full-force. He landed on his face in the dirt – just inches away from Shampoo.

"Miaow," she offered encouragingly.

Ranma's eyes widened in fear, his pupils nearly disappearing amid the white. With another shriek he leapt to his feet and turned to flee – only to be stopped by Ryoga's fist catching him squarely in the face.

He landed on his back, momentarily dazed. As his mind cleared, he felt a small, furry head rubbing insistently against his hand. His eyes glazed over, and he started to twitch. "C-c-c-c-c—"

Ryoga approached his prone adversary cautiously. "Get up and fight, Ranma! Or are you beaten that easily?" He looked down to discover an unconscious Ranma with a little pink cat sitting on his chest, peering into his face.

Shampoo stared at her betrothed in disbelief, rapidly melting into disappointment. _Ranma… Ranma lost._ Tears pooled in her eyes, spilling down to leave dark tracks in her fur. _I believed he was so strong, so skilled… to my shame. How weak must he truly be, that he was so easily defeated? If the people of my tribe ever learned of this, the humiliation would haunt me forever._

She hopped down from Ranma's chest and turned to walk away from him, eyes downcast. She took three steps before she ran face-first into a pair of legs. She sat down, tilting her head back as her eyes traced up the body of the boy before her. Her gaze locked on his face, and brown eyes looked curiously back at her. _This is the man who defeated my Ranma. I know now what I must do._

In a moment, she had scampered across the courtyard and up a tree. She leapt over the wall surrounding the Tendo residence, and was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm telling you, Akane, that completely didn't count!" The red-haired girl shot a death glare across the table at …his… fiancée.

"I don't know, Ranma; I think you're slipping." Akane deadpanned. Teasing Ranma was always fun, and his getting beaten by Ryoga was going to be prime material for weeks. He and Genma had explained the cat-phobia, and Akane knew that yesterday was an extenuating circumstance, but it was still far too amusing to poke at Ranma about being "defeated" by his rival.

"Grrr! You are so incredibly _un_cute!" Ranma slumped in her seat and pouted.

A section of the wall exploded in a shower of debris, which settled to reveal Shampoo framed between the jagged edges of the still-standing carpentry. "Nihao!"

Nabiki looked up from the book she was reading. "We go through so many walls when this girl's around…"

The Chinese girl set her bon-bori down on the floor and pointed at the redhead, who was brushing sawdust from her hair with one hand. "Ranma. Is important talk with Shampoo." She glanced disdainfully at Akane. "Private."

"Listen, Shampoo, I don't know what you think you're doing, but—" Ranma stood as she spoke, brushing herself off and assuming a fighting stance.

Shampoo held up one hand in a placatory gesture. "No want fight. Talk. Come." She turned to leave through the hole she had made coming in, but hesitated. "Oh, and be boy." _With the way I feel right now, I don't trust myself alone with girl-type._

Ranma's gaze darted frantically around the room in search of aid, but Akane was busy glaring venomously at Shampoo, and Nabiki, after making her remark, had resumed ignoring everyone in favor of her book. Ranma gave a dejected sigh. "Fine; give me a minute, I'll be right back…"

o o o o o

A few moments later, a male and slightly damp Ranma emerged from the bathroom. Without another word, Shampoo darted away, leaving Ranma to keep up with her.

The chase led halfway across town, as Ranma followed Shampoo from rooftop to rooftop. Finally she sat down on the flat roof of a building and waited for Ranma to join her. He plunked down irritably across from the Chinese girl. "Now what's this all about?"

Shampoo eyed him levelly. "Ranma not want marry Shampoo, right?"

Ranma blinked. "Right. I don't. I mean, it's nothing personal, it's just that—" He trailed off as he realized that Shampoo didn't seem especially heartbroken at this declaration.

She continued. "And Ranma not want Shampoo kill Akane, right?"

He leapt to his feet, eyes blazing. "You're darn right I don't! I swear, if you so much as touch Akane, I'll—"

Shampoo looked up at him, her expression even. "Sit."

It was as if her lack of emotion let all the air out of his reaction. Deflated, he slowly sat back down. "What's this leading up to?"

"We make deal. Shampoo leave Ranma and Akane alone, break off engagement, if Ranma promise help Shampoo get what want."

For a moment, Ranma was struck speechless. _Finally, a chance to get this crazy girl off my back!_ Then he paused as a thought occurred to him._ Then again, the last time I made a deal with Shampoo, I ended up getting the daylights beaten out of me. Still,_ _it's too good a chance to pass up._ Ranma raised his eyes to the girl across from him. "Alright, Shampoo, what is it you want?"

"Ryoga."

"Huh?" Of all the things Ranma had been expecting to hear, this one didn't even make the list. "What do you want with Ryoga?"

"Marry."

Ranma thought his jaw was going to fall into his lap. He could summon the will to do no more than stare in utter bafflement at Shampoo until she leaned in closer to him and waved a hand in front of his face.

"Is deal?"

"What? Oh; sure. It's a deal."

"Good." Shampoo rose and glanced at the sun to gauge the time. "It almost time for work."

"Work?" Ranma asked as he stood.

Shampoo nodded. "Great-grandmother move to Japan with Shampoo, start ramen restaurant. Shampoo wait tables."

_Well, there goes my hope of her taking Ryoga back to China with her._ "Really? Where is it?"

"We standing on it."

Ranma looked down at the roof beneath his feet. "Oh. Well, have a good day at work, then."

Shampoo smiled. "Bye-bye!" She leapt down from the roof and out of sight.

Ranma remained on the roof for a moment longer, watching the place where Shampoo had been a moment ago. "I wish I could say that this was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me. I wish I could say that this was the weirdest thing that had happened to me this _week_." He shook his head, and jumped across an alley to the next rooftop.


	4. Chapter 4

"She wants _what_?"

"I think it's just as crazy as you do. I mean, who would want to marry Ryoga?"

"Ryoga is a nice boy!" Akane growled, throwing her glass of water at her betrothed. The cup landed on Ranma's head, and cold water dripped down …her back.

_I wonder how much of a "nice boy" she'd think he was if she knew it was _him_ sleeping in her bed at night, snuggled between her breasts_. Ranma took the cup off her head and wrung the water out of her pigtail. "You're missing the point. This is how to get rid of Shampoo for good. She promised to give up trying to marry me and trying to kill you." Ranma sighed. "I just don't know how I'm going to do it."

"It's simple." Nabiki didn't even look up from her bowl as she spoke.

Two pairs of eyes turned to Akane's middle sister. "Really? How?" Ranma asked.

"Ten thousand yen and I'll tell you."

"You're joking."

Nabiki finally looked up from her dinner, locking her gaze on Ranma. "Do these eyes joke?"

Ranma rolled her eyes, leaning on the table with her chin in her hand. She looked at Akane. "She's _your_ sister."

Akane arched an eyebrow. "It's _your_ fiancée."

"Fine," Ranma growled, pulling her wallet out of her back pocket. She withdrew the appropriate bills and flung them in Nabiki's direction. "Now, what's your 'simple' plan?"

Calmly, Nabiki set down her bowl, picked up the bills from the table, counted them, and slipped them into her pocket. Then she leaned slightly forward, turning her attention to Ranma. "Okay, here's what you do…"

o o o o o

The next afternoon, Akane sat with Ryoga at the table in the Tendos' house, chatting. Ryoga was telling Akane about some of the places he'd "visited" on his last journey, and Akane was politely ignoring the fact that the only reason he'd gone to any of them was because he couldn't find his way to the supermarket. Outside in the courtyard, Ranma sparred with his father. When her companion was particularly engaged in his story, Akane occasionally glanced away from him and looked out at the rooftops. _I'm so nervous about this! When is she going to—_

The wall, which the carpenters had finished repairing just an hour ago, burst open once again to reveal an angry Shampoo. Akane's father looked up from his newspaper at the ruined woodwork. His smile was overly wide, and when he spoke, his voice was too cheerful to be sincere. "You know, that would be a lovely place for a new set of French doors, don't you think?" He rose from the table and left the room, tears streaming down his cheeks.

There was a splash from outside, and Ranma came in from the courtyard, followed a few moments later by a dripping giant panda. Akane noticed that Ranma was slightly favoring his right leg as he walked. He glared at the Chinese girl. "Shampoo? What are you doing here?"

Shampoo stepped through the wreckage of the wall and stalked across the floor to the short-haired girl. "Akane Tendo, I kill!"

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "No, Shampoo! I won't let you fulfill your vow to kill Akane. Fight me instead!" He leapt through the air to land between his two fiancées… but when his right foot touched the ground, he collapsed to the floor, clutching his knee. Agony was painted across his features.

Everyone else turned to the panda, who held up a sign, "I've been teaching Ranma the Saotome School Joint Incapacitation Technique."

Akane jumped up from her seat and started swatting Ranma on the head. "Idiot! Useless! Stupid!" She straightened, squaring her shoulders. "Fine, I don't need you; I'll fight Shampoo myself."

Ranma glowered up at her, shielding his head protectively with one arm. "Yeah, that's a _great_ idea. Remember the last time you tried fighting her?" He peered up into her face. "Or is your memory still a little fuzzy from that one?"

Before she could reply, Ryoga leapt up, landing in front of Shampoo. He assumed a fighting stance. "Do not concern yourself, Akane; I shall be your champion!"

Shampoo took a step back, lowering her weapons. She looked the short-haired boy up and down. "Yes. We fight." She spared a quick glance at the clock on the opposite wall. "But not now. Saturday, Shampoo have day off from work. We fight then. Two o'clock, here at dojo." With that, she turned and leapt through the ruins of the wall.

When she was gone, Ranma looked up at Ryoga. "Saturday. That's three days away, Ryoga; you've got some work to do.

Ryoga, who had just been about to resume his seat beside Akane, paused in midstep. "What do you mean?

"You're out of practice. Shampoo will wipe the floor with you."

"Ridiculous! I beat _you_, didn't I?" Ryoga favored his rival with a smug grin.

The only thing that kept Ranma from leaping up and pounding Ryoga into the floor was the throbbing pain in his knee. "You got _lucky_," he growled. "Do you really want to risk Akane's life on the gamble that your luck will hold out?"

Ryoga glanced at Akane, then found a place on the floor to stare at. "What exactly are you proposing?"

"Well, you've got three days to train. I say we start now." With that, Ranma picked up a pitcher of ice water from the table and poured it over his own head.

The other boy stared at the shivering, now-female Ranma in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Well I can't exactly _walk_ to the dojo, and I'd feel stupid being carried as a guy."

"You can't seriously intend—"

"Three days, Ryoga," Ranma reminded him pointedly.

Ryoga growled. "Fine." He crouched, offering his back to Ranma, and let her clasp her arms around his neck. He tried to be careful of the redhead's injured knee as he rose, holding her in place.

As they headed for the dojo, Ranma leaned in to whisper in Ryoga's ear. "This certainly gives new meaning to the phrase '_piggyback_,' doesn't it, P-chan?"

Ryoga's fists clenched, but he restrained himself from doing anything more. "The things a man is driven to do for true love are more than all but the strongest hearts can bear."

As soon as they were out of hearing range, Akane turned to Genma. "Did you really do something to Ranma's knee?"

The panda held up a sign. "I wanted to make sure my son didn't do anything stupid." He flipped the sign around, showing the other side. "I'll fix it after Saturday."


	5. Chapter 5

Ranma sat with her back against the wall of the dojo, injured leg extended, as she watched Ryoga doing push-ups.

"Eighty-seven, eighty-eight, eighty-nine, ninety, ninety-one—"

"No, Ryoga, this isn't working. It's too easy."

"What do you mean, it's too easy?" Ryoga turned his head to glare at his self-appointed trainer.

"You need something more challenging, if you're going to be ready to beat Shampoo in three days."

"Do you have a better idea?"

Ranma grinned. "As a matter of fact, I do." Using only her arms, Ranma launched herself from the floor, maneuvering gymnastically through the air to land hands-first on her unhappy pupil's back. Ryoga, unprepared for the impact, landed on his face as his arms buckled under him.

The red-haired girl arranged herself so that she was lounging on his back, using his legs as a footstool for her injured knee. "I'm all set; you can continue now."

Ryoga grumbled, but got his arms under him again. "Ninety-two, ninety-three, ninety-four—"

Ranma gave a frustrated sigh. "This isn't going to do it either. I guess I'm just too slim and petite to provide an adequate challenge for you."

Ryoga's mouth opened to make a sarcastic reply, but snapped closed again when he heard the redhead call, "Hey, Pop!" He squeezed his eyes shut against the implications. _This cannot bode well…_

The next thing he knew, Ryoga found himself with a giant panda sitting on his back drinking a cup of tea, with Ranma perched comfortably on its shoulders. Ryoga's arms trembled with the strain of maintaining an upright position.

Ranma smiled down at her victim. "Go ahead, Ryoga. After another couple hundred of these, you can take a five-minute break before we move on."

Ryoga groaned as he tried to bend his arms without collapsing entirely. "N-n-ninety…five…"

o o o o o

"Now, one of the things you really have to worry about with Shampoo is how fast she is." Ranma sat on a large rock in the courtyard of the Tendo house, one hand on a large basket that sat beside her. "When she fought Akane, she completed her Sai Fang Heng Gow Shiatsu technique in mere seconds – and that includes the rinse and dry!"

"So how do I defend against her?"

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Obviously, you need to learn speed. This is where the 'Attack of the Hundred Melons' comes in."

"Melons!"

"Yes." Ranma removed the lid from the basket, revealing it to be full of melons. "I'm going to take these melons and throw them at your head as fast as I can. You're going to split each one of them, while dodging all of the juice that splatters out."

"You can't be serious! That's ridiculous." Ryoga turned his back to the redhead, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "Do you remember why Shampoo gave Akane the Kiss of Death in the first place, _P-chan_? I believe it was because Akane rescued _somebody_ from becoming Cantonese pork in hibiscus sauce."

Ryoga's cheeks burned red, and he cast his gaze downward in shame. The fateful scene in the Furinkan High School cafeteria replayed itself in his mind. _He's right; Akane is in danger because of me, and it is my duty to protect her, even if it means enduring the "Attack of the Hundred Melons."_

He turned to face Ranma, assuming a fighting stance. "All right; I'm ready."

"Then look out!" Ryoga found himself staring into a hail of melons. The rest of the world dropped away as his focus narrowed to the fight. He struck the first melon, neatly splitting it in half, and leapt out of the way as it exploded in a splatter of juice and pulp. One after another he struck, hands moving almost faster than the eye could follow.

Finally, it was finished. The basket stood empty, and the broken hulls of countless melons lay scattered in a wide circle, with a clear patch at the center. In the middle of it Ryoga stood, bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. He looked up at Ranma, who beckoned him forward with a gesture.

He approached the rock, and his redheaded trainer looked him up and down. "Pretty good, pretty good." Ranma reached forward and wiped a single speck of melon pulp from the tip of Ryoga's nose with one finger. She licked the finger clean and shook her head. "But not good enough. Again!"

Ryoga's expression wilted, and he let out an exhausted groan – which was abruptly cut off by a melon hitting him full in the face.


	6. Chapter 6

"Um, Ryoga?" Akane's voice reached across the courtyard to where her "champion" was pacing. "You've been out there for nearly an hour. Would you like to sit down and have a cup of tea?"

The short-haired boy paused, glancing skyward to gauge the sun's position in its path across the heavens. "It's almost two o'clock; Shampoo will be here at any moment."

Ranma's laughter tore across Ryoga's senses. "Well, he couldn't find his way out of a paper bag with both hands and a map, but at least he's got a good sense of time!" Ryoga glared at his rival, who was seated on a cushion beside Akane at the table.

"Ranma, if you weren't already injured, I'd—"

"Ryoga, save it for Shampoo," Akane gently chided him. "As you said, she'll be here soon."

He nodded once, lowering his gaze to the ground. _Akane, for your sake I can endure any insult._

As he stared at the grass before him, a shadow passed across his field of vision. He looked up sharply to see Shampoo land neatly in the yard not ten feet away.

"It two o'clock. We fight now, for life of Akane Tendo." Her amethyst eyes were stern, and her voice carried a grim edge.

Without looking down, Ryoga slid a foot under the umbrella lying on the ground and kicked it up, catching it in his right hand. His eyes met Shampoo's as he slipped into a fighting stance. "I'm ready."

Shampoo jumped high into the air, arcing over Ryoga's head to get behind him. Following the trajectory of her leap with his eyes, Ryoga stepped aside, bringing his umbrella up as he moved. Just as Shampoo's feet alighted upon the ground, Ryoga's blow hit home, catching her hard in the back.

She staggered from the impact, but shook it off quickly. A small smile crept onto her face. _He's good._ She lashed out with a foot to knock him off balance, but he jumped back, out of range. _I cannot hold back; as great-grandmother said, I must find out if he is worthy._

o o o o o

From their seats inside, Akane and Ranma watched the opening moves of the fight. The short-haired girl turned to Ranma and asked, "What do you think Ryoga's chances are?"

Ranma leaned back, hands supporting his head. "I'd give him pretty good odds. One of Ryoga's biggest weaknesses was his lack of stamina, but I drilled him fairly hard over the past couple of days. I think he'll be able to hold out."

Akane nodded. "How did that thing with the melons turn out?"

"Oh, my 'Attack of the Hundred Melons?' Ryoga finally managed to beat it late yesterday afternoon."

"I'm glad." She peered at him, arching a suspicious eyebrow. "Say, where did you get that attack, anyway? I've never heard of it before."

"That's because I made it up." Ranma grinned. "I couldn't pass up the chance to get Ryoga to let me throw fruit at his head."

Akane socked her fiancé in the face with a cushion. "Ranma! That's horrible!"

He held up his arms to protect his face. "Hey, it worked, didn't it?" He pointed out at the fight going on in front of them.

o o o o o

Shampoo and Ryoga stood at opposite ends of the courtyard, eyeing each other warily. Slowly, Ryoga slid open his umbrella. _She's fast. But let's see her dodge this!_

He hurled the umbrella, which spun toward its target with deadly accuracy – and with equally deadly accuracy, Shampoo smashed it out of the air with one of her bon-bori.

The corner of her mouth uplifted in a predatory smile. _You don't need weapons, Ryoga. Show me the strength of your bare hands!_

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. He reached up and withdrew a spare bandana from the ones he kept twined around that signature accessory. He pulled it taut and sent it spinning through the air, the cloth now a lethal blade. Shampoo raised one of her bon-bori to deflect it. The bandana cleaved through the handle of her weapon, and the heavy ball-end fell to the ground at her feet.

Shampoo stared at the sundered weapon in her hand. A moment later, the handle clattered to the ground beside its other half. The Amazon switched to a two-handed grip on her remaining weapon, letting out a battle cry as she leapt at her opponent.

Ryoga found himself facing down a tempest of blows that seemed to come from all directions at once. Determination painted itself across his features. _It's time._ "Attack of the Hundred Melons Defense!"

The rest of the world dissolved as Ryoga's consciousness narrowed to the challenge before him. Sensing the arc of his adversary's weapon, he blocked each strike before it came within range. At the center of it all stood his enemy. _This can't go on forever. I have to find an opening— There!_

Ryoga struck. Shampoo, not anticipating an attack in the midst of her own assault, was completely unprepared for the punch. With all of Ryoga's strength behind it, the blow sent Shampoo flying backwards into a tree at the far end of the courtyard. The Chinese girl lay still, and her remaining weapon fell from her limp hand.


	7. Chapter 7

"Shampoo?" Ranma's voice was tinged with alarm. _If anything happens to her, I'll never get Ryoga away from Akane._ He tried to stand, but his knee still refused to cooperate.

With a glare at Ranma, Akane rose and hurried over to the girl's side. _I may not like her, but I still hope she's all right._ She knelt next to the Amazon, gently touching her cheek. "Shampoo, are you—?"

The girl's eyes slowly opened. Brushing Akane aside, she pulled herself shakily to her feet. "R-Ryoga?" She looked across the courtyard, her gaze settling on her target. Her steps became steady as she started toward him, her countenance stern.

She did not speak until she was standing right in front of the still slightly-surprised Ryoga. She looked up into his eyes. "Ryoga defeat Shampoo."

"Yeah, I guess I… I mean, that's right, I did! And now you can't k—"

He stopped abruptly as Shampoo's expression melted into a smile and she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. "Wo ai ni!"

A confused Ryoga turned to Ranma for help. "What'd she say?"

Ranma grinned. "We're pretty sure that means, 'I love you.'"

Ryoga stared down at Shampoo, his cheeks burning red. "But what about Ranma? I thought you were—"

"Tch! Who need Ranma?" Shampoo asked scornfully. "Ryoga defeat me. Ryoga I love." She snuggled against Ryoga's chest.

He looked down at the female warrior, so contentedly – and shamelessly – pressing herself against him. Only in one other circumstance had he felt the warmth and softness of a woman's body against his. When he was P-chan, Akane had clutched him to her chest, showering him with love. _Oh, Akane… will you be forever beyond my reach? Yes… you will never embrace me like this, never look upon me lovingly when I am a man._ A single tear rolled down his cheek._ You will never feel for me what you feel for… Ranma._

Ryoga grasped Shampoo by the shoulders, gently pulling her away from him. "Hold that thought just for a second, okay?" He stepped away from a forlorn-looking Shampoo and turned to Ranma.

"You planned this, didn't you? You took the whole, 'Amazon women have to marry men who defeat them' thing, and used it to get Shampoo to like me, didn't you?"

"Um…" said Ranma, plastering on a fake smile, "…No… I mean…"_If he finds out that it was all a setup, then there goes the whole deal. But outright lies were never my strongest game. Akane? Help? _Akane, however, was halfway across the yard, out of reach. He swallowed hard. "…Kind of…"

Ranma was completely unprepared for the hug that nearly knocked him off his cushion. "Thank you!"

"Really, it's okay, Ryoga," Ranma laughed uncertainly. "You can let go now."

Ryoga did so, rising to his feet. He wasn't, however, done talking. He could feel Shampoo's eyes on him, her affection enveloping him in an almost-tangible warmth and reaffirming his decision. "I've never had a real girlfriend before. I've always had to face the cruel trials of the world alone!" He turned to Shampoo. "But now…"

The Chinese girl's face lit up with a smile. "So you accept Shampoo as fiancée?"

Ryoga's eyes widened. _F-fiancée?_ _As in marriage?_ He smiled nervously at her, taking one of her hands in his. "Um, how about we go steady for a while first, and see how it goes?"

She considered this for a moment, and nodded. "Okay. Shampoo date with Ryoga." She flung her arms around his neck, nuzzling his shoulder.

Cautiously, Ryoga returned the embrace. Looking over Shampoo's shoulder, he saw Akane standing in the courtyard, smiling cheerfully. _She's not upset._ _She looks happy for me. Happy that I'm with Shampoo. I… I guess it was never meant to be with Akane after all… _

He pulled back slightly, looking into Shampoo's face. She met his gaze and smiled. Drawing courage from her eyes, he placed a finger gently under her chin to angle her face upward. Reading his intentions, she parted her lips as he leaned in to kiss her.

o o o o o

Akane quietly slipped past the lovebirds to join Ranma at the table. Her face was alight with happiness – due in no small part to the fact that Shampoo would be leaving Ranma alone from now on. She leaned over to whisper to Ranma. "Aren't they cute?"

Ranma, on the other hand, looked slightly ill. "'Cute' isn't the word I'd use."

The short-haired girl glowered at her fiancé, walloping him in the head with her school-bag. "You have no sense of romance whatsoever!"

Gingerly rubbing the bump on his head, Ranma glared back at her. "What does an uncute tomboy like you know about romance, anyway?"

Outside, Ryoga broke the kiss just long enough to whisper, "They're at it again. They really are impossible, aren't they?"

Shampoo smiled, nuzzling at his ear before replying, "They figure it out eventually."


End file.
